I will be the first to admit I have never been keen on class reunions. I’m reasonably certain I have attended at least one of my class reunions, but other than that, I don’t think I usually go. You are probably wondering why, since I’m so “witty and charming” and I still live within three miles of my high school and the town it’s located.
Spoiler alert:
First, I was never the most popular girl or the most beautiful girl in my class. If you were one of those girls (you know who you are) you almost have an obligation to show up at all the class reunions, so everyone can see if you’ve changed, in other words, gained weight or gotten less beautiful. Trust me, both are the hope of every other girl that was in high school with you.
It has been my experience however, that neither of those things happen to any of these girls, at least not to the ones that were in my class, at either school.
Let me explain that last sentence which is also my next reason for not attending. I have always felt torn between two schools, and not really belonging to either one. I attended Cedar Falls schools from kindergarten to ninth grade, then my family moved to Dike just three years before I graduated.
So which school or schools am I an alumni of? Cedar Falls or Dike or both? I’m never sure. I attended the Cedar Falls schools the longest, however never attended the high school there. I graduated from Dike high school, however, only attended there from half of ninth grade through twelfth. Do you see my dilemma?
Cedar Falls class of ’73 had their 45th class reunion during Sturgis Falls Days. I probably could have gone over and said hello, but I didn’t because I never know if I fit in since I didn’t attend the high school there, and that after all is what class reunions focus on, high school stuff.
My Dike high school 45th class reunion is coming up during Dike’s Watermelon days. I’m really torn about going or not going. I haven’t aged that well. I’m not the thinner person I was in high school, I’ve gained a second me who is attached to my middle and hip areas. I’ve tried to shake her off, but she refuses to leave.
I’ve gotten arthritis in my knees and hands and don’t jump like I did when I was a cheerleader. I do still have a loud voice, although I can’t hear well now so I probably talk too loud most of the time. In other words, I have not aged particularly well.
A lot of my classmates, ok the majority, look just like they did back in high school with maybe a little greyer hair and a few tiny wrinkles here and there, but for the most part, they look great. Me, not so much. I’m that person people will look at and wonder “what on earth happened to her?” A lot has happened, but that’s another story.
There is also the fact that they all went to school from Kindergarten through graduation and I only joined them mid-ninth grade year. They have a long history, they know each other well. I only knew them for the three years I spent with them in high school. Many of them are relatives as well, so they have that bond. I was not related to any of them.
I was the stranger who moved in and then had the audacity to marry one of their own. I was the lucky one in that regard.
Another consideration for me is the whole parade thing. When I was in high school I marched in many school parades as one of the drummers. My class will have a float in the parade and with my arthritic body I worry that I’ll be the one who can’t get up onto the wagon without causing a scene or bodily injury to myself or others. So, do I just duck the parade and save myself the embarrassment?
Clothing, there is another dilemma for me. Is it just me or do all people go through this? What to wear that won’t make you look too fat, too old, too poor, too frumpy, too dated, too casual, etc, etc. The list is endless. I never seem to be able to choose the right outfit to wear. Some people just slap on anything and look wonderful, I am not one of those people.
My hair style or rather lack of one, is another thing I stress over. Shoes, what about shoes! I’m stressing out right now just thinking about all of this. There was a day when I wore all the cutest shoes and clothing, had long dark hair, didn’t stress about any of it, but, I was a size 5 back then. I haven’t seen that size in thirty-five years at least.
There is also the obligatory get together, there’s always a meal. Confession time, I hate to eat around others. One, because of that whole mental judging thing I envision because of my size now. Two, because I’ve also always been a klutz, so I always end up spilling on myself, it’s almost legendary. Three, I am quite possibly the slowest eater on the planet, ask anyone who has dined out with me on those rare occasions.
While I have an outgoing type of personality, and I’m not shy around strangers, I am also horribly socially awkward because of the above reasons. You won’t find me at any parties laughing it up with people while deftly juggling my paper plate of food in one hand and glass of pop in the other, au contraire. I prefer my little bit of acreage with my hammock and dog. I’m social on paper.
So here I am. The confused alumnus who is socially awkward, who has probably changed the most out of everyone in not one, but two school systems and has nothing to wear. My confusion is no fault of my classmates of either school, it’s a product of what happens when you get moved so late in the game. You lose that longevity and familiarity whether good or bad. You become the kid with no place/class to truly call your own.
To the class of 1973, know that in my heart I hold you all dear. Whether I went to school with you for ten years in Cedar Falls or for three years in Dike, I wish you all well. I’m not the thin kid with the dark hair and green eyes you may recall. I’m old, greying, my eyesight is worse, my waist went from thin to extra-large, I limp when I walk, and my hands hurt most of the time. I’m the kid that didn’t age well. The forty-five years since we walked out of high school with our diplomas in hand have not always been the kindest to me. I hope most of you have fared much better.
If I don’t join you, have fun, enjoy your memories. Maybe I’ll see you at our 50th.
Until next time…Toni